I am not giving you shit. I am truly impressed by your determination to stay alive. Most humans people would have surrendered to the elements and either slowly starved to death or killed themselves to avoid such a slow and painful end, allowing their corpses to rot, forgotten and alone, under an alien sky.
But not you. You ate feces potatoes. You are strong.
I prefer most meat to potatoes, no matter what was used to grow them. I could not have survived. I would have lost my sanity and run screaming into the wastes.
Or I would have eaten you.
It is not personal. I am sure you have many positive attributes.
Being stranded on a distant world has made you understand the necessity of eating others to survive. I appreciate this about you.
I am Istas. You may be my friend. Many friends call me Izzy out of a misguided need to make me seem harmless and lovable, but it is not necessary. I am neither of these things.
Oh, no, trust me. I understood that before Mars. If our mission went sideways we knew who was gonna be chow first.
Sweet. Nice name. You got a preference between the two then?
Because here's the thing. I call you "Istas" I'm gonna like. Shout it in a big, dramatic voice every time so if you're cool with that, then that's what I'm gonna call you. It's pretty badass.
I think I would prefer the big, dramatic voice announcing me. It suits my temperament and personality.
And I will call you 'Mark' in a normal voice, because 'Mark' is not a dramatic name. It is a subtle name that is good for blending in or becoming a potato botanist on Mars.
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I also respect any woman who decides to have intimate contact with you after learning about your eating habits.
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[ badmtshhh ]
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humanspeople would have surrendered to the elements and either slowly starved to death or killed themselves to avoid such a slow and painful end, allowing their corpses to rot, forgotten and alone, under an alien sky.But not you. You ate feces potatoes. You are strong.
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But thanks, seriously. [ uhhhh!!! ] Gotta say, they tasted like regular potatoes so it made it a lot easier.
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Or I would have eaten you.
It is not personal. I am sure you have many positive attributes.
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And also really starchy so like, I guess it'd work out.
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I am Istas. You may be my friend. Many friends call me Izzy out of a misguided need to make me seem harmless and lovable, but it is not necessary. I am neither of these things.
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Sweet. Nice name. You got a preference between the two then?
Because here's the thing. I call you "Istas" I'm gonna like. Shout it in a big, dramatic voice every time so if you're cool with that, then that's what I'm gonna call you. It's pretty badass.
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And I will call you 'Mark' in a normal voice, because 'Mark' is not a dramatic name. It is a subtle name that is good for blending in or becoming a potato botanist on Mars.
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You know, I never thought of my name like that... but hey, that's cool. And who else can say they're a goddamn potato botanist on Mars?